Wednesday, January 14, 2009

what a pity.

when one finds themselves in a quarrell with a loved one, it is wise that they come to and understanding and make up as soon as possible. reason being; there's only so many times and so many ways a single person can apologise for any one thing, and furthermore the venting of one's feelings should be kept at a consinderable level so as not to badger or offend the other party in question... because what happens is, while you sit there sulking in your own prideful anger and simmer in your negitive feelings the other person is left being rejected...over and over again. now you may think that the rejection they are experiencing is justifiable, after all they have angered or hurt you, why shouldn't they hurt too? but you see the problem with pushing someone it works. if you can truly believe this person loves you, you must know that the mere thought of having hurt you is killing them. that they would rather slit their wrist and bleed to death than allow you to feel any pain. it is my philosophy to always accept a heartfelt apology, provided the purpose of the apology is well understood and thoroughly discussed by both parties, afterwhich some form of positive reinforcement should take place. this safeguards against any love lost, any further damage to the partnership and of course prevents hurting the other person in the process; as that should never be the goal. an eye for an eye makes everyone blind. what is most disconcerting is the fact that upon the repeated (very much repeated) occassion in which i was offended party, i was kind and understanding, i treated each time as what it was; an emotional matter - to be handled delicately... and a misunderstanding to be handled maturely so as to come back together on the same page and bring us closer on an intellectual level, to find that i am not being received in the same maner the one time i am in the wrong is disturbing...and trials my patience. might i also comment that when someone finds something through dishonest means like, oh i don't know, "accidently" looking through your text messages, what they find is their burden to bear; as a penalty of distrust and the violation of privacy. (god knows i don't go looking for all the things i don't want to find, but i'm sure are there) regardless of the petty circumstantial details...i should not be left to fester in the wake of his anger. this ordeal has left me feeling insecure and very unsure of things that i was only just recently becoming comfortable with. i am now forced to recoil emotionally. it is all quite unfortunant.

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