Friday, January 16, 2009

feel so low, just bury me alive...

cried myself to sleep...
woke up crying
from nightmares of him leaving me
i told him i missed him last night, he said he didnt feel the same
i'm crushed.
i know i pissed him off but why is he making me suffer? i am completely, utterly, totally, madly, and hopelessly in love with him...he means absolutely everything to me, he sees that doesn't he?
my heart hurts so much i can barely breathe. i feel like i'm dying, this is killing me.
i feel so disconeccted from him, i really do miss him like crazy.
i'm so afraid. i don't know what i would do if ...
i really don't even want to think about it
i don't ever want to be without him

it was a stupid stupid joke, girl-talk bullshit. it's not worth all this.
it's not fair, i've forgiven him so many times for so many things with out putting him through any torture but he's just letting me sit here and wallow in my own hurt. i would never do this to him, i would sooner die than intentionaly cause him pain. why is he punishing me?

i can't stop crying.
(i fucking hate crying)
everything inside me is aching, i'm in so much pain.
i just want to be in his arms, i just want to know we're okay.

i love Luis with all my heart and soul, if he can't see that; we're doomed anyway.

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