Thursday, January 1, 2009

off to a fucked up start

i never start to new year without crying.
don't ask why.
last year my boyfriend at the time broke up with me that day. new years eve we fought (at our mutual place of business) spent the night together in spite of it, fucked, and woke up early...then we broke up.
deja vu.
i'm so scared. i want to believe that since we're really in love, i think "we" are -- i know I am, we'll get through whatever this is.

i don't feel so sure.

i don't think he's where he wants to be. i think he wants to want to be with me but...

my heart hurts.

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