Saturday, January 24, 2009

don't know where to begin

i had so much stuff to write all day but couldn't get to a computer...
now i'm tired and can't bring myself to think of it all.
at present i'm very concerned...i'd tell you why but i promised myself i wouldn't think about it.

i wish i could solve all his problems and make him happy again. i miss the happy him.

i gotta stop being such a pussy, more on this later.

why does everyone like me better when i'm pissed off at the world? i seem to annoy people when i'm happy...

i'm living but i haven't felt alive in weeks. maybe longer.

side note i have a quick "hey you":
i'm trying to let go of all the shit you did and how i feel about it. i know it's unfair for me to bring it up so much. i'm sorry, but it's hard when you're always holding back, it makes me scared...why do you hide things? in any case one of us has to change...and i thought about it, maybe you wouldn't hide things if they didn't bother me so much. maybe you're trying to spare my feelngs. quit holding back; i'm letting go. nothing is more important than the fact that we love each other. i forget sometimes.

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