Friday, December 19, 2008

random, the way you like it

bored at work, but glad i'm here.
there are few things in life sweeter than a fresh razor to the skin. which part? i aint telling, but it's so nice to have it baby's ass smooth!
cosmo can't tell me shit, their man-manual-malarky does not apply here...i got it covered. aint shit them bitches know that i don't. word.
my nails are so long and pretty, hate on them, go head, you know you want to.
speaking of haters, i gotta burn down mustang grill. i'm so sick of that place. fucking whoretopia.
my throat hurts...physicly and emotionally. i don't care to explain that to you, you'll just have to accept it.
wisdom teeth should be renamed paincausing devil molar. i don't need them! i'm as wise as i'll ever want to be, thanks!!!
why is it that when guys like me they turn into girls? why can't anyone court me like a man? i mean, it doesn't matter cuz i'm completely unavailable and disinterested but still, why do they all turn into giggling morons around me?? what the fuck am i doing to them?? thank god i got a man. oh, and lesbians; so persistant; why??? me likey penis okay!!! jeez louise!!!
people who bathe in their colonge/perfume and force me to choke on their stink when they're around should all be sentanced to death by their own crappy smell.
models gross me out more than smokers do.
white girls are a plague upon mankind. down with whitey.
i'm fucking hungry right now.
i have the most awesome boyfriend in the universe. yes, the whole universe, go check.
i'm somewhat more impressed by ingestable gold than the decorative sort.
in a perfect world, i'd be naked all the time, and all i'd do all day is eat, drink, and fuck.
i want a shirt that says "no." just "no." no decoration or clever bullshit to distract you from the statement. just "no" not in caps, not italic, no special font, or punctuation...just "no."
i've been desperately in the mood for something in particular for a month now, my bf knows what it is and is the only one who can give it to me and in being deprived of it for so long i fear i may just resort to the commitance of violent sexual assult (upon him of course) and honestly, now that i really think about it, that may have been his plan all the long... that wiley little fox!
is it spring yet?
this is bad, you see boredem makes me one or both of two things: hungry or horny... i was both of those things already. i'm reaching critical mass. danger. danger. sound the alarm.
got milk? well do ya?

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